How’s it going so far?

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and New Year’s resolutions go hand in hand. Everyone feels the sudden burst of optimism and fresh perspective at the turning of the calendar year. However, most of us fall short and give up within a few weeks. Then what? We feel defeated, like a failure, maybe even self-loathing. This negative outlook then makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges we set for ourselves and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows us to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows us to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck.

The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself

It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest. Duh, I know, but understanding how to manage your well-being is key to managing energy levels. Without the proper nutrition and care your clarity and energy start tanking fast! You can’t make up for lost sleep or poor diet! What you do for your mind and body today, affects how it functions tomorrow.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For

I understand “gratitude” is a buzzword in spiritual and self-improvement, but that’s for good reason! Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference in your perspective and self-image. Self-awareness isn’t just for recognizing our weaknesses, recognizing our power is just as important!

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions

A fear of failing or not being liked and accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about. Awareness of others and situations is critical to emotional intelligence. How are you going to understand others and avoid conflict without developing situational awareness?

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes

Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering. This can not only hinder connection but can cause others to become defensive and there you have it-arguing! Emotional Intelligence training can help you learn how to communicate effectively to build trust with others and prevent misunderstandings and conflict.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts

Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it. I know this is so much easier said than done, this is why understanding internal dialogues and how they affect you is so important. Self-awareness isn’t just understanding how you affect your environment, it’s how you affect yourself! If you catch yourself thinking badly of yourself, others, or situations, pause and reflect on it. If we don’t recognize our thoughts, they can quickly affect our feelings and our relationships.

6. Challenge the "ANTs

"In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" -Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and challenge them! Ask yourself “Hey Brain, why do you think that? Where is the evidence?” ps. It's okay if Brain answers back. I have ADHD mine typically answers a question someone asked me yesterday, or some hypothetical situation from years ago and I have to wait for it to catch up to the here and now.

7. Practice Lovin', Touchin' & Squeezin' (Your Friends and Family, not strangers)

Yes, I’m a Journey fan who isn’t? You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. Physical affection builds intimacy in close relationships. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch. I wouldn’t go around touching strangers though, unless you are aware of their comfort with that. Situational awareness and showing empathy is a key focus of EQ training and can be very empowering for all parties involved.

8. Increase Your Social Activity

By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will positively affect you. Laughter is contagious and spreads positive energy and outlook. Being aware of how others affect you and vice versa is top-tier emotional intelligence. Keep this in mind, if you surround yourself with people who aren't goal-driven, and are instead focused more on partying, what do you think you will spend your time doing? That’s right, blowing money on hangovers instead of investing time and resources into your goals. Focusing your attention on people who are aligned with the more positive aspects of yourself and your goals can inspire you and keep you positively motivated. Choose your crowd wisely.

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person

Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return. In spiritual communities, this is understood as “karmic law”, “the rule of 3”, or “universal law”. The basic tenant is that the energy you put out comes right back to you. If that’s true then what energy you put out is just as important as what you put in. Showing up for others can make you feel more capable of showing up for yourself. Not only that, but it builds a sense of community and value that supports improvement in general.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination

If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focusing on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented, it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music. Understanding and recognizing your thoughts gives you the power to change them with effort. We can’t just rely on distraction, but EQ training helps you to recognize your thoughts and gives you the power to cope with them or change them.

If you feel like a failure because you didn't stick to your diet or start that new hobby, remember you didn't fail at success. You just failed to properly prepare yourself for it and we can work on that now! So yeah maybe, you won't obliterate that goal when you thought, but now you might understand why, and do something about that. You just need some personal development tools to understand yourself and how goals work. That’s all. We can change that today! Start by checking out my free stuff or scheduling a free consultation here:https://www.reigningmomentscoaching.com/services/free-stuff I LOVE helping you guys get on the right track!