I have lived a large portion of my life yearning for change, yet I made choices every day that kept the status quo going strong. Oh, how many times I said "That's just the way it has to be."

After so many years of that nonsense, I began to search for what made me come alive. For a really long time, this created tension around how I viewed my life and the relationships I carried. The transformation has been an ongoing process filled to the brim with redecorating my home over and over, setting fitness goals, and diving deep into psychology, philosophy, and spiritualism. Once I got bored I moved on to the next big thing for me. I imagine it is exhausting at times for those around me, never being comfortable with the Amber they're interacting with because she's always looking to improve something. I like to stay curious.

I'm always asking people who say they can’t do something, "Why can't you?' or "Why don't you?" They have a multitude of reasons why, usually nothing to do with what's possible, but how it fits into their mindset or perceived reality of what's not feasible. This repeated scenario is what led me to coaching in the first place. It’s not that I see people as needing improvement, I see people who need inspiration.

It's all too easy to fall into a pattern of just getting through the day-to-day. We're all guilty of it. We find ourselves lost in to-do lists, obligations, and monotony. Rarely do we ask ourselves what we want vs what we need to get through the day or week.

We daydream during work, we go to sleep dreaming of an alternate reality, and wake up wishing we could indulge in it while drinking our morning coffee. But alas yesterday's decisions and conscious effort built today's to-do list, and so we carry on repetitiously.

Our hearts and minds recognize the difference between simply existing and living our true purpose. That is an innate strength that could be utilized to transform into something that not only aligns with our divine purpose and creates the sense of joy we're entitled to as humans but can inspire those around us as well. We should be setting goals that excite us and scare us at the same time. Some of you may be terrified of making such changes. A transformation that steep is quite the feat. On the other hand, I don’t think transformation is as uncomfortable as miserable stagnation. Yes, it’s hard, but it’s the effort that makes the result so gratifying.

One thing I've noticed not only with people in my field, but the people around me, on social media, and the spiritual society as a whole, is the use of the word transformation. The word transformation is probably the most used gimmick in advertising because it causes a reaction.

Now just sit with that definition of transformation for a moment. Mull it over, feel into your body, and observe where your mind goes and how your body reacts to those thoughts. Go ahead I'll wait. Are you excited? Or are you stressed?

For a lot of people, we start to feel our heartbeat rise, we may feel a rush of excitement about the possibilities. We may start envisioning the outcome of the transformation. Our mind immediately envisions us reaping all the benefits of transformation.

Then there are the more grounded or "realistic" individuals who feel their heart rate increase and may start sweating a little. Their hands feel shaky and their thoughts start envisioning the work it will take to get to the result. They ruminate over the different scenarios of what could go wrong instead of right. They find themselves caught with failed attempts, an internal voice questioning motives and going over all past mistakes.

Which one are you? It’s possible to be either one at different times.

I personally, don't like what the word transformation inspires. It often leads people to either skip to envisioning the results, not considering all the reality it will take to get there, OR, it invokes fearful resistance to change. Oh, the drama of it is right there in the definition. Did you notice what else is in that definition? To change in appearance, which is not the same as real change. It is on the outside of us, and yes it can be a projection of internal workings, but as humans, we know appearances are not always what they seem.

Another problematic motto that has likely created a breeding ground of false attempts, false starts, and loss of confidence in so many of us, is "fake it till you make it!" You can only fake enthusiasm for an uninspired life for so long before experiencing burnout, and depression. This hurts all aspects of your life including work and the relationships that you care about the most.

One of the most common things you find in happy, successful, fulfilled people, is their persistence, and confidence despite failures. Ask any self-made wealthy person about their life before success, and they will either chuckle as they describe their past misfortune and failures, or they will exclaim how they overcame them. Even the most successful people have experienced failure in one way or another. What made them successful was learning and growing with each mistake. There is no need to wake up and fake interest and fulfillment in your life. You can decide what you want and how you will get it. Don't fake it, work to make it happen.

Every failure begins with intention. The intention is to build skills and eventually master them. Every skilled tradesman spent years mastering their trade, EVOLVING as a tradesman. So, the reality is:

Skill happens slowly, and purposefully over a long period. Evolution is how we slowly and intentionally change over time. If we skip to the good part and try to transform our lives instead of evolving from the inside out, we end up with failures and self-defeat most of the time.

Your goals can change and transform, but personal evolution is needed to sustain the changes and meet your purpose.

Have fun with this. Change is difficult, but can be very rewarding. Keep your eyes on the prize, living the life of your dreams, and success will come easy. Start as small as you would like. Start as grand as you would like. Just start.